continuing my story
while in mexico my friend and I met a boy, witch I believe I already mentioned. during our stay we became close friends and exchanged numbers and talked a lot. One night my friend and I went up on the roof and played truth or dare. she dared me to ask the boy out (I am not one to ask guys out I let them ask me). Of corse I agreed not intending to actually do it. A week later we had been home several days and I was still talking and hanging out with the boy. We had gotten very close. I was sitting on the couch texting him and he asked me if I liked him. witch at the time I did, not I am ashamed of it. I told him yes and he asked me out. several weeks later was halloween, me and two others of my friends including my now enemy and my best friend slept over. we slept in the guest house, that night we played truth or dare again. my dare was to kiss my boyfriend, my first kisses always seem to be on dares'. . . I agreed because I wanted to kiss him. that night we snuck out and my first kiss with him like my first kiss with my previous boyfriend was done both on a dare, and when we snuck out. nothing sparked and at that moment i knew we were not going to last. when we got back I told them it was amazing so they would approve, and not comment on him. I continued to text him, that was the night I found out he was bisexual. Yes he liked both boys and girls, this was kind of scary knowing that I might have lost him to another boy. . . we ended up sleeping at about 3 am, and woke up at 6 to my phone going off because of my boyfriend. "Good morning" was the text he sent that woke us up and pissed us off. I was not able to to back to sleep so I texted him. that ended up in him sneaking over to my house and hiding in the guest house with us. my mother caught us just as we were about to kiss again. . . she asked him and his friend to leave, pulled me to the side and lectured me. 30 minutes later he texted me, broke up with me, and told me he never wanted to talk to me again. I was crushed. . . my best friend said it was for the better, but I missed him. this was a Saturday on monday I found out that 5 minutes after we broke up he asked my friend out and she said yes. That was a sucker punch in the gut. . . I was so pissed at him, but ended up forgiving him. 2 weeks later we were back together, we would sneak around and meet up in secret. most of the time we would meet when I walked my dogs, we would hang out and make out. Dating him was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my entire life! My parents began to get stricter and stricter, so I became more and more rebellious, breaking more and more rules. After my parents found out about me sneaking out I was grounded with no phone for about 5 months, no phone for 6. They did not, do not and probably never will trust me again. the more they became strict the more I became depressed and the more I cut myself. the pain from the cutting over came the true emotional pain I was feeling. sometimes not enough so I would cut more and deeper. It became an obsession. The more I bled the more the emotions would cease to exist. the less I felt apart of my family the more I loved my room and being alone. during the time My phone was taken away my boyfriend and I would set up certain times to meet an hope we would both be there at the same time. Sometimes we would not hang out for weeks, the only time we would see each other was at school.
I will continue this story tomorrow sorry <3
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Day 3
Ok this story is a very long and very painful one so it may take me a couple days but here it is. . . the painful truth.
8th grade: things started great almost like the two months of break were nonexistent. There was me my best friend my ex boyfriend my soon to be 2nd boy friend the 3rd in our sneak out group, my soon to be worst enemy, and several others. we were good for about a month. . . the three of us continuing to sneak out now every friday. A month before christmas break something changed. . . friday night as usual the 3 of us left to go sneak out. everything when according to plan except one thing, I forgot to delete the texts from that night form us trying to find each other. My mom must have heard something because first thing in the morning she came in took my phone and began reading my texts. I had been caught! she said nothing, just turned and walked out of the room with my phone in her hand. I did not think anything of it at the time and went back to sleep. I woke up and reached for my phone and realized it was not there. then it hit me. . . she knew! I got slowly and walked out to the kitchen, she was there and she was pissed. that ended in me getting grounded. oh i for got a part. . . it is not really related to the grounding but it happened before it and it is a very important part to this story. we had a long weekend in october and my parents let me bring a friend with us to mexico. that was one of the only times I actually had fun there. we met a boy there that just happened to live up the street from me at my real home. we began to talk little did we know this would be the beginning of lots of unwanted and un needed drama.
I will continue this story tomorrow any comments you know were the box is. . . I hope <3
8th grade: things started great almost like the two months of break were nonexistent. There was me my best friend my ex boyfriend my soon to be 2nd boy friend the 3rd in our sneak out group, my soon to be worst enemy, and several others. we were good for about a month. . . the three of us continuing to sneak out now every friday. A month before christmas break something changed. . . friday night as usual the 3 of us left to go sneak out. everything when according to plan except one thing, I forgot to delete the texts from that night form us trying to find each other. My mom must have heard something because first thing in the morning she came in took my phone and began reading my texts. I had been caught! she said nothing, just turned and walked out of the room with my phone in her hand. I did not think anything of it at the time and went back to sleep. I woke up and reached for my phone and realized it was not there. then it hit me. . . she knew! I got slowly and walked out to the kitchen, she was there and she was pissed. that ended in me getting grounded. oh i for got a part. . . it is not really related to the grounding but it happened before it and it is a very important part to this story. we had a long weekend in october and my parents let me bring a friend with us to mexico. that was one of the only times I actually had fun there. we met a boy there that just happened to live up the street from me at my real home. we began to talk little did we know this would be the beginning of lots of unwanted and un needed drama.
I will continue this story tomorrow any comments you know were the box is. . . I hope <3
Monday, February 7, 2011
Day 2
Day 2 on my I have no idea how long blog. I will start with part of my story.
7th grade: I met my best friend, had my first boyfriend, one of my friends started to become my worst enemy, I completely changed. my change from 6th to 7th grade was the biggest. in 6th grade I was very quiet and kept to my self most of the time except for one friend. In seventh grade I was surrounded by friends but none that ever really listened. they all just wanted the funny side of the story or the joking side. I really needed someone to talk to. At this time I was very open to talk to anyone and everyone, no fear of what they would say, with nothing to hide, and nothing bad to say. In seventh grade I began to swear, and I have not stopped since. Almost every word that came out of my mouth was a swear. In seventh grade middle of the year I met my best friend through the girl that would soon become my worst enemy. At first I did not think we would ever become friends, but now we are in separable. She was a CCOCD (color coordinated obsessive compulsive) person. She always matched her clothes, and always followed every rule. She got all good grades, and never swore. She mostly hung out with other people back then and thought I was strange and outspoken. Even she could not have seen us as friends back then. slowly but surely she began to hang out with me and some of my friends. 3rd quarter: I found out that two of my very close friends had been sneaking out, and decided to join them. we were 3 of a kind literally inseparable. when ever we felt alone we would hang out just us three, and when I could not it was just them two. Valentines day I had a party witch ended with me and my best boy friend becoming my boyfriend. he was one of the three of us sneaking out so we spent a lot of time together. By the end of the year drama had begun between me and my friend who had introduced me and my best friend, and the girl who is now my best friend became my best friend. She had said her first swear word, snuck out with us for the first time. In 7th grade I cut myself for the first time. why? For the first time I felt pressured by my parents, for the first time I got grounded, for the first time I felt actual emotional pain. For the first time I was kissed in 7th grade by my first boyfriend, the last time I would see him before I left for New York , and the last time I would see him as my boyfriend. A week before my birthday, over text message, while I was watching a movie he asked if we could talk. I left the room and tried to call him but he ignored it several times. He texted and said "I don't think we should go out anymore" I saw that and the phone fell from my hand, and hit the ground with a thud, along with the phone a single tear followed by another, and another. I cried for a long time that night seeking comfort that never came not even from my best friend who did not answer or find out until the next day because she fell asleep. So I sat alone crying because my first relationship of several months had ended. So my seventh grade ended with me having my first boyfriend, my best friend, seeking out, swearing, cutting my hair short, getting grounded, and cutting myself.
7th grade: I met my best friend, had my first boyfriend, one of my friends started to become my worst enemy, I completely changed. my change from 6th to 7th grade was the biggest. in 6th grade I was very quiet and kept to my self most of the time except for one friend. In seventh grade I was surrounded by friends but none that ever really listened. they all just wanted the funny side of the story or the joking side. I really needed someone to talk to. At this time I was very open to talk to anyone and everyone, no fear of what they would say, with nothing to hide, and nothing bad to say. In seventh grade I began to swear, and I have not stopped since. Almost every word that came out of my mouth was a swear. In seventh grade middle of the year I met my best friend through the girl that would soon become my worst enemy. At first I did not think we would ever become friends, but now we are in separable. She was a CCOCD (color coordinated obsessive compulsive) person. She always matched her clothes, and always followed every rule. She got all good grades, and never swore. She mostly hung out with other people back then and thought I was strange and outspoken. Even she could not have seen us as friends back then. slowly but surely she began to hang out with me and some of my friends. 3rd quarter: I found out that two of my very close friends had been sneaking out, and decided to join them. we were 3 of a kind literally inseparable. when ever we felt alone we would hang out just us three, and when I could not it was just them two. Valentines day I had a party witch ended with me and my best boy friend becoming my boyfriend. he was one of the three of us sneaking out so we spent a lot of time together. By the end of the year drama had begun between me and my friend who had introduced me and my best friend, and the girl who is now my best friend became my best friend. She had said her first swear word, snuck out with us for the first time. In 7th grade I cut myself for the first time. why? For the first time I felt pressured by my parents, for the first time I got grounded, for the first time I felt actual emotional pain. For the first time I was kissed in 7th grade by my first boyfriend, the last time I would see him before I left for New York , and the last time I would see him as my boyfriend. A week before my birthday, over text message, while I was watching a movie he asked if we could talk. I left the room and tried to call him but he ignored it several times. He texted and said "I don't think we should go out anymore" I saw that and the phone fell from my hand, and hit the ground with a thud, along with the phone a single tear followed by another, and another. I cried for a long time that night seeking comfort that never came not even from my best friend who did not answer or find out until the next day because she fell asleep. So I sat alone crying because my first relationship of several months had ended. So my seventh grade ended with me having my first boyfriend, my best friend, seeking out, swearing, cutting my hair short, getting grounded, and cutting myself.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
day 1
hey I am Elizabeth. this is my first blog so just bare with me here. some things yo should know before I begin. . . (thinking) . . . umm well i sware a lot for one, I cannot spell for the life of me so I would appreciate it if u do not correct my spelling/ grammar errors. I am here to give advice so please if you have anything you would like me to answer please share and ask me. i am not perfect and I can only answer things the way i would do them. I am also here to share things and maybe get some help with problems of my own. that's about it. . . oh and by the way if you don't give a fuck and you and reading this just because just leave right now because you are wasting your time doing something unproductive.
so here it is DAY 1: my life: loving boyfriend, best friend, fighting depression with them there to help me. why am I depressed?? well that is a long story. . . I don't really want to go into it right now but you will get the whole story. . . eventually. basically HEART BREAK you really can feel it, it really is there, also stress and shit like that.
so here it is DAY 1: my life: loving boyfriend, best friend, fighting depression with them there to help me. why am I depressed?? well that is a long story. . . I don't really want to go into it right now but you will get the whole story. . . eventually. basically HEART BREAK you really can feel it, it really is there, also stress and shit like that.
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